Category Archives: Therapy

The Invisible Woman

I was interviewed for the South China Morning Post about the topic of the Invisible Woman.

As women age, one of the less welcomed and surprising experiences they may have is to feel like they are no longer seen. Usually occurring during their mid 40’s and older, women may have the experience that they are ignored or like they don’t matter.

This is how society often treats women. However, just like with any social messages, you need to see that they are limited and one sided. Recognize that with age comes wisdom. Remember all of the valuable lessons you have learned throughout life and the gifts that you can give others with that knowledge. With age comes confidence. You know yourself more and are less likely to put up with things that don’t serve you any longer.

To read more about my thoughts on women and aging click here



How to Deal with Your Partner’s Flaws and Strengthen the Love You Have for Each Other

Dealing with a partner who has “character flaws”, or a “difficult personality” can be challenging but can also test the strength of your love for each other.  In this article, Dr. Zeising shares that as long as you and your partner are able to take ownership for your behaviours, find a compromise and maintain flexibility, then your relationship has all the potential to blossom into something beautiful and everlasting.

To read the article, click here


balance, therapy, sex therapist, couples therapy

Emotional and Sexual Balance in Long Term Relationships- Part One

What is emotional and sexual balance?

In satisfying relationships, your partner is more than just a confidant and friend, they are also your sexual companion. Unfortunately, seriously involved couples, whether married or not, too often become so preoccupied with managing day-to-day tasks involving jobs, parenting, household duties, and life responsibilities that they treat their relationship (including sexuality) with benign neglect. Even though their relationship remains stable, they lose their spark and emotional intimacy. A healthy couple relationship promotes a vital sexual relationship that a great balance of closeness and eroticism.

Take a moment to think about your sexual relationship. On a scale of 1-10, one being complete neglect and 10 being complete immersion, where are you on the scale? Are you thinking that  that you’ll tend to it tomorrow…. when in reality you’re putting it off? If so, think of one thing could you do today to give your sexual relationship, and your partner, more attention. Act on it!

love, therapy, sex therapist, couples therapy

Be the Love You Want to See: Getting out of Gridlock

Do you ever feel that if only your partner would step in and give you the love you need, that only then, you’d be able to respond in kind?

Well, you may be waiting a long time. Because your significant other is probably waiting for you to do the same thing.

So how do you move past this love gridlock, where you’re both standing in your corners with your arms crossed in defiance? You risk taking the first step.

I know, it’s hard to do. You think- How do I show love and support when I haven’t had MY needs met? Well, again, you can justify your position till the cows come home, but then you will be in that exact same spot. Feeling alone. Entitled and feeling justified in your position, but alone.

So stretch yourself a bit. Think about how you could come out of your shell and towards your partner. Let some walls down. How can you share a part of yourself or your feelings? Can you be vulnerable? What is he or she needing at that moment? Is it so hard to do? What do you think could happen? You may just be surprised.

It just takes some kind words, or a small gesture of love to show you’re holding out your hand to them to bridge the gap. You may be met with a suspicious look….or one of curiosity…..because you have likely been gridlocked and so stuck in this dynamic that your partner isn’t expecting you to do anything else.

However, this can be a first step to soften the tension and help you two start to come together.  And it’s from this place, once you start stepping in, that they may join you in this dance and you may start getting back what you want from them.