Many individuals and couples come into my office asking the question- Is my relationship healthy? They wonder if their behaviors and dynamics are normal or indicative of deeper issues or signs that they should not be together. While many couples argue, have tough times they go through or have difficulty getting all of their needs met, recognizing when the dynamics of your relationship are on the side of unhealthy is important so that you know when to take action.
Here is a guide to help couples decide if they are on the right track or need to make some adjustments to their relationship.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
- You feel secure when you’re together or alone
- You can problem solve when the issues arise
- You inspire each other to live full lives and go after your dreams
- You often feel generous, giving and loving with each other
- You can accept your partner for who they are without judging them or insisting they change for you
- You are open and tell the truth to each other
- Problems and conflicts can occur between you and you can still handle your day
- You have a sense that your relationship is going well and you respect each other
- Most of the time you have good things to say about the relationship
- The relationship is close to or at the top of your priority list
- You can give each other feedback and suggestions when it’s in the best interest of both of you
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
- You feel insecure and weak around each other or when separate
- You are unable to resolve differences together
- You stifle each others’ dreams and try to control or limit your partner
- You withdraw emotionally and physically from your partner
- You beg, nag or try to manipulate your partner into changing into who you think they should be
- You lie and hide important information from each other
- You suffer from low self-esteem as a result of what happens between you two
- You spend more time feeling hurt and feel badly about how you treat each other
- You find yourself complaining to others about the relationship
- Your relationship is at the bottom of your priority list
- You are defensive and not open to any sort of feedback because you take it as criticism
Individual or couple therapy is a good place to start to address your concerns in they fall in the unhealthy category. You can get a deeper understanding of where the behaviors came from and make choices with this new insight. Some couples realize that the problems are indicative of a deeper need to address personal issues on their own and to end the relationship. However other couples learn how to go about changing the negative behaviors into more functional, mature and healthy behaviors and create the relationship they truly desire. Please contact me today to see how I can help!
